Audio at the end 🙂
My blogs have started taking on more faith-filled content. (if that’s a word?) This is amazing for me as my relationship with my creater has never been closer. Even when I start to notice the weighs of the world dragging me down, I know to just look up. Some-days I am better at fulfilling this action than others; but you get the idea.
About 3 weeks ago I was overcome with an intense heaviness in my chest. I felt like the world was flying by me and I wasn’t the person I wanted to be. Let me rephrase that, I am NOT the person other people expected me to be. There.. it… is!
Have you ever felt this way before? Have you ever noticed throughout your life you are LIVING it through the lens of someone else’s expectations of you? I DO. We deserve more than that.
Feeling this heaviness I simply let my mind wander. We all know this isn’t a safe coping mechanism, because of where our heads can venture to. Mine started negatively throwing out every single mistake I have ever made. It was bringing childhood trauma to the surface, as well as comparing my journey to others. Not okay. When this started happening I was overwhelmed with fears of; ‘what’s the point’ kind of thoughts. And I will be 100% honest, these scared me. You’ve been there, you’ve felt that way too. It’s just about time we said it out loud.
I don’t want to normalize ‘giving up’ on yourself because that’s not where I am heading with this blog. I want to aid in the mental health triggers we all face and do NOTHING about. That night all I wanted was to sleep and never wake up. I had no plans of doing anything to myself, if you’re following me; I just wanted my type of thoughts to end. Now, do you want to know where I went to find a way out? I prayed!
The fact that Jesus woke me up the next morning when all I wanted was to give up; that my friends is why I am telling you this story. I am still here because God is NOT finished with me yet. He is also NOT finished with you yet either. Your story is being written and God can’t do it without YOU. Hear me when I tell you that there is NO place you can go where God can’t find, see, or hear you. Other people may shut you out, they may talk poorly of you and demand your attention. Though God will never leave you or forsake you! I am living proof of that!
God has NOT given up on me, and he will also NEVER give up on you. He sees your pain, he knows your struggle and what’s on your heart. He wants you to go to him in prayer and he will guide you through the rest of your days. God has created you for a reason. You are still here for a reason! Don’t be afraid to shut the world out and go to him.
I know this all sounds preachy, though I’m telling you it works. God has created me to help people who are struggling. Let’s love like Jesus loves, but start with loving ourselves. I prayed to be taken out of a place of bondage to sin, and constant remembrance of my faults. God has picked me up to show me that I matter to him, and to this world. Just as you do too!
Listed below is the audio. Thank you so much for listening.
Please call someone if you’re struggling, you are not a burden! Trust me, I’ve felt that way too.
Helpline: If you’re in a crisis now, do not hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)